Embracing Anger |
|
My dear friends, I would like to tell you how I practice when I get angry. During the war in Vietnam, there was a lot of injustice, and many thousands, including friends and disciples of mine, were killed. I got very angry. I learned that the city of Ben Tre, a city of three hundred thousand people, was bombarded by American aviation just because some guerillas tried to shoot down American aircrafts. The guerillas did not succeed, and the city was destroyed. The military man responsible for that later declared that he had to destroy Ben Tre to save it. I was very angry.
In the Buddhist tradition, we have the practice of mindful breathing, of mindful walking, to generate the energy of mindfulness. With that energy we can recognize, embrace, and transform our anger. Mindfulness is the kind of energy that helps us be aware of what is going on inside of and around us. Anybody can be mindful. When you breathe in and you know that you are breathing in, and you focus your attention on your in-breath, that is mindfulness of breathing. The basic practice in Zen centers is the practice of generating mindfulness every moment of your daily life. When you are angry, you are aware that you are angry. Because you already have the energy of mindfulness in you, created by the practice, you can recognize, embrace, look deeply, and understand the nature of your suffering. I was able to understand the nature of the suffering in Vietnam. I saw that not only Vietnamese suffered, Americans suffered as well during the war. The young American man who was sent to Vietnam in order to kill and be killed underwent a lot of suffering, and the suffering continues today. The family, the nation also suffers. I could see that the cause of our suffering in Vietnam is not American soldiers. It is a kind of policy that is not wise. It is a misunderstanding. It is fear that lies at the foundation of the policy. Many in Vietnam had burned themselves in order to call for a cessation of the destruction. They did not want to inflict pain on other people, they wanted to take the pain on themselves in order to get the message across. But the sounds of planes and bombs were too loud. So I decided to go to America and call for a cessation of the violence. That was in 1966, and because of that I was prevented from going home. And I have lived in exile ever since ...
This article can be read in its entirety in Mandala |


But at that time, I was already a practitioner. I did not say anything, nor did I act, because I knew that acting or saying things while angry may create a lot of destruction. I went back to myself, recognizing my anger, embracing it, and looked deeply into the nature of my suffering.