Blue Collar Buddhism

“The Sink”

It’s so easy for me to become complacent with my spiritual development, especially if I keep myself in pleasant environments filled with Buddhist statues, thangkas and Buddhist people. But as my training as a maintenance technician has proven many times – a clean sink doesn’t necessarily mean a clear drain. Because I was unaware of my mental and emotional afflictions, my compassion diminished and my selfishness grew stronger. Ultimately, my mental actions spilled over into my physical actions and hurt other people.

After “spiffing” an apartment, to make it ready for a new tenant to move in, the porcelain basin gleams and the chrome fixtures sparkle. Likewise, I feel spiritually clean after long sessions of prayers, prostrations and offerings. Just like a newly spiffed sink, sitting in my pleasant quiet gompa after a session of prayers or a teaching leaves me feeling spiritually clean. However, inside me, like in the sink’s hidden pipes, is a thick black build-up of old negative actions that can clog my wisdom. I become complacent because I’m not always aware that a mental clog is forming, but it’s very obvious when a clog completely blocks the drain and my attitude and actions are suddenly out of control.

Being mindful is the best way for me to avoid the pitfalls of complacency. I’ve screwed up so badly in my interactions with people that I am ashamed now of how I mistreated the people I have hurt. At those times I hurt others in my life, I felt like my wisdom had become clogged, and as a result, my actions were ugly and antithetical to Buddhadharma. As I reflect on that time in my life, I know it probably wouldn’t have happened if I’d kept my mind vigilant and not content with a minor amount of superficial spiritual accomplishments. Causing someone a lot of pain opened my eyes to what was truly going on  deep within me that I had been blind to because I had surrounded myself with a Buddhist environment. I learned to remember that as a beginner on the Buddhist path, all anger, ignorance and ugly emotions haven’t been flushed away completely by prayer wheels and water bowls. I have seen life shine bright and peaceful one moment, and then quickly turn ugly when my internal issues stifled my compassion and wisdom. Getting angry and behaving selfishly while I was away from the refuge of the gompa showed me I am not as spiritually clean as I may have hoped. So I always try to look deeper into the hidden areas of my mind; especially, the areas I have forgotten about and would rather ignore.

Self-described blue-collar Buddhist, Charlotte Jolliffe, lives and works in Burlingame, California.

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