Terry Griffith-Ladner has been a student of Lama Zopa Rinpoche for 14 years: “There was no turning back.” Terry now lives near Washington, D.C., with her husband Lorne Ladner, who runs Guhyasamaja Center.

I am a cosmetologist, which means I do hair, facials and make-up. I am currently doing freelance make-up for Smashbox Cosmetics at a Bloomingdale’s near Washington, D.C. From the time I wake up I set my motivation that whatever I do that day is for the purpose of serving others. When I keep this in mind, I enjoy what I do so much that people can feel it; they sense this enjoyment as they sit in my chair and I transform their look.

I also keep my motivation in mind when I am putting make-up on myself before work. There is a way to take care of your appearance without it appearing totally selfish. One benefit of being more attractive is that you can draw more people to you, which gives you more of a chance to benefit them.

Working with cosmetics is one way I can help others feel better, to help them see that they can change their minds. I don’t think it’s samsaric to help someone feel more pretty or special, because whatever caring and guidance I can give them always helps them feel better about themselves, and in turn helps them to be kinder to others. And they receive some kind of healing-type feeling (not from me but from the buddhas) – especially if you’ve recited mantras – which helps their minds. According to Rinpoche, if you recite the Wish-granting Wheel mantra om pema unika bimale hum phat and then blow on perfume (or incense), whoever smells it or sprays it on receives blessings. And my effort at being mindful, ethical and kind rubs off on my co-workers too and helps them.

One way to create merit when at a mall or beautiful store is to transform and mentally offer to the buddhas all the beautiful things you see, which is what I try to do. It’s okay to notice nice things and to distinguish what is good quality: Lama Zopa, for example, likes excellent quality crystal bowls for offering water at stupas and on altars because, he says, it creates more merit to offer beautiful things to the buddhas. In fact, you can offer all the objects of your senses: all the lights, the smells, the tastes. These methods help us not get overwhelmed with attachment, especially when we live in an environment that is so full of beautiful things.

Most people who come into the store seem to be miserable and don’t say anything until they’re asked, so I always try to find something to say about how nice they look or about their outfit. As His Holiness always says, it’s important to just smile at people, so I try to turn my selfish mind around and help others feel good about themselves.

One time when I worked at a department store in Santa Barbara, a customer returned a $100 jar of moisturizer that was completely empty, hoping to get a refund. She said the moisturizer didn’t work, that she didn’t become younger looking and she was lonely and, on top of that, it was Valentine’s Day. I returned the money to her and she said the $100 was her only solace that day.

Another lady here in the D.C. area returned her eye cream because it didn’t take away the puffiness of her red, crying eyes. She was very sad and mentally disturbed. We talked about Jesus and cosmetics. At another hair and make-up salon I worked for in Westchester County, New York, the owner was open to me bringing in my stationary prayer wheel that my husband Lorne had made. I brought it for the clients to spin, and when I moved I left the prayer wheel there because she wanted one so much.

Where I work now there’s a transvestite who has been coming to the mall for years hoping to make a connection with someone who will treat her nicely and do her make-up. She wears a wig, full make-up, a dress, nice ladies coat and very high heels – the works! Nobody wants to help her, as they feel she is somehow dirty and just plain weird. I finally got the chance to be this friend she has been looking for, and now she is so happy to come to me and get make-up tips. We have fun together and make each other laugh, and when I do her make-up I show her new ways to look prettier and softer. We have girl talk together and laugh about how she is always making the same mistakes with the lipstick. I am glad to make this man feel like how he wants to be treated, which is like a woman.