The Hungry Ghosts of Love

Migrating through the Six Realms of samsara is a solitary business.

Samsara, of course, is the cyclic existence of uncontrolled rebirth, until a person achieves enlightenment. The Six Realms include: hell, hungry ghosts, animal, human, jealous gods, and god realm.

The hell realms are terrifying, and the god realms are pleasurable beyond conception. But even in the human realm, we often get a taste of other realms. We may be fiercely competing for the spoils of materialism like the jealous gods, or we may find ourselves numbly dwelling in a sort of god realm of wealth and narcissistic self-absorption.

But more often, in our need for relationships, we get a taste of the bleak and hopeless realm of the Hungry Ghosts — those sad and unsatiated nomads with their huge bellies and long-knotted necks, unable to swallow even the smallest thing.

In their greed and miserliness, they are unable to nourish their hunger or quench their thirst. Everything they hope and plan for turns into its exact opposite.

We, too, hunger for love. We long for total approval. And we crave undivided attention. Moreover, we must own the other person for fear of losing our happiness. We are anxious to control, either directly or by making endless sacrifices. Through our partner, we hope to heal our loneliness, our lack of being loved, listened to and held enough.