Wisdom #2 – 1984

By Lori de Aratanha and Robina Courtin

Some 20 minutes before dawn on the first day of the Tibetan New Year – March 3, 1984 – the heart of Lama Thubten Yeshe stopped beating. He was 49 years old.

Lama had been seriously ill for four months, although according to Western medical reports since 1974 it was a miracle that he was alive at all. Two valves in his heart were faulty and because of the enormous amount of extra work it had to do to pump blood, it had enlarged to about twice its normal size. And he himself had said 10 years before that he was alive “only through the power of mantra.“

Here, Lori de Aratanha and Robina Courtin report the events leading up to and immediately following the passing away of this great yogi and teacher, an extraordinary man who moved hearts of thousands during his 15 brief years among Westerners.

Everyone who knew Lama Yeshe knew that “he had a bad heart.” Yet it was only in November last year that they realized there was a serious danger to his life. A letter signed by three of his close students written on November 12 from Kopan Monastery in Nepal and addressed to all FPMT center directors reported that the observations of both Lumbum Rinpoche of Swayambhu, Nepal, and Lama Zopa Rinpoche indicated that “Lama will pass away within a year unless he takes time to do a long serious retreat and unless disharmony and division cease.” And Lama had agreed to accept a full long-life puja at Kopan at New Year – the very day he eventually passed away.

Lama had arrived back in India in early October after a strenuous teaching tour of Europe and America. From Delhi he traveled to Dharamsala where he had a house in the grounds of the Tushita Retreat Centre. Here he stayed in seclusion.

Lama was not scheduled to go to Nepal to teach as he had done for 14 years at the annual Kopan meditation course. Vicki Mackenzie, a London journalist and friend of Lama Yeshe for eight years, was at Kopan for the course. “We were told that Lama was too sick. We didn’t know where he was but we did know that he would not be coming. But, a couple of days before the end of the month-long course, suddenly, like magic, he appeared.

“It was morning. We all came out of the tent to greet him. It was so moving and terribly touching. All the small monks of Mount Everest Center were lining the road, the older monks on the roof of the gompa blowing conches and trumpets out over the valley. And everyone was so silent. There was such an incredible hush. Somehow it was very poignant and very holy. Lama Zopa went up to the Land Rover to greet Lama with unbelievable reverence, love just pouring out of him. Catherine and I, and others, burst into tears. It was so special and so moving.

“The silence was extraordinary. So unlike the usual joyful pandemonium of the monastery. We didn’t know anything but somehow we felt that this was very, very special.”

And Lama Yeshe did teach. Two days later, at the end of the course, he gave first a question-and-answer session and the following day a four-and-a-half hour teaching on refuge and bodhichitta (see page 32).

“It was extraordinary,” said Vicki. “For one month the hundred of us had been immersed in the serious business of a lam-rim course. It had been very intense. There had been much anguished discussion about the various traditional teachings Lama Zopa had been giving us.

“When Lama walked in I knew immediately that he was very ill. Still so caring though, and joking: ‘Oh, I don’t know what I’m talking about!’ But always so kind, so concerned about us. ‘Are you all right? Are you tired?’ he would ask us. He showed just so much love.

“His answers were marvelous, somehow exactly what we needed. He completely demolished all our dualistic, narrow concepts. ‘Your Mickey Mouse minds! You are so boxed in, so narrow,’ he said. Somehow, his words were like a miracle. He spoke such utter common sense, made everything seem so simple. Our confusion and worries simply dissolved away. He knitted everyone together, cut across all the divisions.”

Vicki had to leave Kopan the next day, so after his final talk she followed him out of the gompa to say goodbye. “I was completely overwhelmed by his extraordinary kindness. He was obviously so ill, yet he showed only concern for me. ‘Are you all right, dear? What can I do for you?’ No! I said. What can I do for you Lama?

“He said he was fine. He took my hands and before leaving asked me to ‘give my love to all my Dharma brothers and sisters in England.’

“Lama had told me in an interview in 1978 that he ‘should have been dead years ago. But if someone tells you you’re going to die, what can you do but give up? I don’t give up,’ Lama said. ‘What these doctors don’t see is that human beings are something special. We are beyond the ordinary concepts of what we think we are.’”

That night, December 10, Lama began vomiting and experiencing difficulty in breathing. He did not sleep, nor did he sleep the next night. On the morning of December 12 it was decided to take Lama to Delhi for urgent medical treatment.

He traveled to Delhi with Karuna Cayton, an American student of Lama based at Kopan, and was admitted into the intensive coronary care unit of a good hospital. He stayed altogether for 15 days under the close observation of two highly respected cardiologists. On January 1 Lama was released and remained another month in Delhi to recuperate.

On January 3 Lama allowed – for the first time, according to Lama Zopa – mandala offerings to be made to him for his long life. On behalf of all his students, Australian monk and director of Lama’s Dharamsala retreat center, Max Redlich, fervently requested Lama to live longer. Lama agreed that he “could live for another two years.” He told Lama Zopa at this time that he “could live for 10, 12 years, but it depends on the karma and hard prayers of the students.”

Since Lama had left Kopan on December 12 he had insisted that Karuna keep complete silence about his condition. In early January, Geshe Rabten, one of Lama’s dearest teachers, stayed with him in Delhi. He instructed Lama “to lift your cloak of silence. You should let people know about your condition so that your students can create merit.”

On January 8 Karuna wrote a letter to Lama’s students at his centers detailing the past month’s happenings.

Lama’s heart was not failing so badly that congestion in his liver and other abdominal organs was causing pain and vomiting.

By early February it seemed clear that Lama should undergo surgery to replace his faulty heart valves. Stanford Hospital in California was chosen.

Lama Yeshe arrived at San Francisco Airport, two hours from Stanford, on February 3. He was accompanied by Lama Zopa, who had been with him constantly for the past month, American nun Max Mathews and his Indian doctor. He was met by John Jackson, director of Lama’s California center, Vajrapani Institute. Lama looked “weak and surprisingly thin,” but still had his vibrant smile. He was driven straight to Stanford.

Registered nurse and student of Lama Yeshe, Shirley Begley, volunteered her services. She arrived at Stanford on February 6. The results of the extensive tests on Lama confirmed the previous diagnosis, and doctors suggested surgery as soon as he was strong enough.

On February 8 Lama was released from hospital and allowed home, where he would have full-time nursing care: Shirley would be joined later by Lennie, another nurse, Barbara Vautier and others.

Lama was driven to his home in Aptos, an oceanside suburb of nearby Santa Cruz 45 minutes from the Vajrapani land. The house, overlooking vast expanses of the Pacific, had been bought for Lama by some of his students.

He preferred to be home. He enjoyed his garden, and within two days was pottering around outside. But by February 12 Lama was feeling faint and could no longer hold food down. He remained in bed and needed constant nursing.

Shirley was worried. Her medical experience told her that definitely Lama should be back in hospital, but he did not want to go. “I don’t need to go,” he said. “You don’t have to worry.”

Throughout the entire period of Lama’s illness, Lama Zopa was in constant touch by phone with Kyabje Song Rinpoche in Switzerland as to when and how to act for Lama’s benefit. He also consulted frequently His Holiness Dudjum Rinpoche in Paris. And he himself would always make observations in the traditional manner whenever decisions were needed.

Often, this proved difficult for the nurses: their observations as nurses told them one thing and Lama Zopa’s would tell them another. However, they learned, they said, to let go, and in retrospect can see the benefits of the decisions that were made.

On the evening of February 15, Shirley was in the kitchen with Rinpoche. Shirley was explaining to Rinpoche her perception of the seriousness of Lama’s condition. Understanding the importance of Lama Zopa in the decision-making process, she wanted to clarify with him just how much responsibility she had. She asked Rinpoche if she could make the decision to hospitalize Lama if an emergency situation arose. “You mean to save Lama’s life?” Rinpoche asked. “Yes,” said Shirley. Rinpoche agreed that she could.

Just then Lama’s bell rang from his room. They rushed to him and it was immediately obvious to Shirley that Lama had had a stroke. She took his blood pressure and Rinpoche gave him some Tibetan medicine. Rinpoche agreed they should call an ambulance, which arrived five minutes later and rushed Lama to a nearby hospital. The stroke was severe. The left side of Lama’s body was paralyzed. In spite of this, and against his doctor’s advice, after one night in the hospital Lama insisted on going home.

During the next two weeks, Shirley, Lennie and Barbara nursed Lama around the clock. Many students worked continuously. Everyone was very happy to be able to serve Lama. They would feed, clean and massage him. Barbara said she could feel how utterly relaxed Lama was, quite unlike the way an ordinary person would be under the same circumstances, she was sure.

Throughout the days, the conversations with Lama were brief; he did not speak much. Lama used short sentences and spoke directly. They learned how to be sensitive to his movements and learned how far they could go in their caring for him. At first they were hesitant about touching his body or wiping away perspiration and mucus. But Lama let them do everything. All of them felt incredibly grateful for this opportunity to repay Lama’s kindness to them. They told him this, and said that he was a mother and father to all his students.

Throughout the days, of course, the students with Lama were continuously praying, as were his students around the world; Lama Zopa had given special instructions to all the centers.

Rinpoche discovered that he’d been carrying a Tibetan text on how to deal with paralysis. There were specific prayers and mantras to do in order to protect against more paralysis and reverse what already existed. It explained what food and exercises were suitable. Rinpoche instructed the people looking after Lama to say the mantra, om dumbali dumbali su su shey shey soha, loudly so that Lama could hear it and that they were to get him to repeat it seven times. The text also said that there should not be sparkling sunlight or mirror reflections in the room, so during the daylight hours Lama’s room was kept dim.

As the days passed, Lama’s paralysis seemed to improve. However, his overall condition was weakening. Song Rinpoche was consulted about whether or not Lama should return to hospital. He advised that, no, Lama should stay at home for the time being, and that he himself would come to see Lama soon.

Song Rinpoche arrived from Switzerland on February 20 and stayed with Lama for three days. He performed many pujas and gave Lama initiations. By February 26, however, three days after Song Rinpoche had left, Lama worsened. He was vomiting continually and was considerably weaker.

At Lama Zopa’s request, Dr. Don Brown, another student of Lama’s, came to examine him. Immediately Don recommended that Lama go to hospital to receive intensive care. He was taken to Presbyterian Hospital in San Francisco. After tests, it was concluded that Lama must have surgery as soon as his strength could be built up.

It was agreed that neither Stanford nor the Presbyterian Hospital was the place for the necessary heart surgery. After much brainstorming, and observations by Rinpoche, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles was decided upon; this was confirmed by Song Rinpoche in Switzerland.

Meanwhile, Lama’s strength was gradually building up, as he was being intravenously fed. And his paralysis was remarkably improved. Plans went ahead to have him moved to Los Angeles. Max Mathews – Lama called her “Mummy Max” – organized an air ambulance, a helicopter, to take Lama on the 500-mile journey south. He was accompanied by a cardiologist, Lennie and Max, and met at the hospital three hours later by long-time student John Schwartz.

He was placed in the coronary care unit. The hospital and Lama’s doctor there, Steven Corde, were incredibly kind. In spite of regulations they allowed people to stay with Lama continuously. Characteristically, Lama treated Dr. Corde as if he were an old, dear friend.

Steven Corde told Rinpoche and Lennie that Lama’s condition was critical, “like walking on a cliff.” But he felt there was hope. Rinpoche asked him what he would do. Dr. Corde explained a procedure for strengthening the heart and prefaced his answer by saying, “If he were a member of my own family I would…” Rinpoche said, “Doctor, this is the last hospital we will go to. You seem to understand Lama and his case, so, as you would do for your own family, please you do for Lama.” And he requested to be informed about any crucial decisions so that he could “check up.”

As in all hospitals, the medical staff was told about the Tibetan Buddhist attitude toward the death process and, as everywhere, Steven Corde and the staff of the Cedars-Sinai were sensitive and understanding.

That night, and the following, March 2, the last night of Lama’s life, Rinpoche and Thubten Mönlam, a young Sherpa monk from Kopan who had served Lama for years, stayed with Lama. Also with them on the last night was Vajrapani resident, Chuck Thomas.

Nine years ago, in a conversation with Chuck about his heart, Lama told him that doctors believed he should be dead. He said that he was alive because of his psychic power and that when the time came to go he would just go; that it would be as simple as that. After his stroke Chuck asked Lama if he remembered that conversation, and Lama said yes, he remembered it clearly, and that now was the time. That was 15 days before Lama came to Cedars-Sinai.

Chuck spent 10 hours with Lama on the eve of his passing. He said Lama was completely conscious, talking and laughing with the nurses. He ate strawberries and talked about those that he grew in his garden. Some of his Los Angeles students visited Lama. They said he was as kind as ever, sending love to everyone.

In the middle of the night Rinpoche sent Chuck out to rest, then to make torma offerings and White Tara pills: Rinpoche intended to offer Lama a White Tara empowerment on the morning of Losar, the Tibetan New Year.

Around 3:30 or 4:00 in the morning Lama asked Rinpoche to do the Heruka sadhana with self-initiation with him. Lama was able to sit up for the meditation. Two students in the room as well were reciting White Tara mantras.

The moment Rinpoche had finished the Heruka sadhana Lama’s heart beat changed; it could be observed on the monitor. It beat faster, then slower, and his breathing changed. A nurse came in and asked Lama if he was all right. “Yes,” he said. Was he hurting? “No.”

Barely 20 minutes before dawn, at 5:07 a.m. on the first day of the new year, Lama Yeshe’s heart stopped. Rinpoche immediately checked with Song Rinpoche whether or not to attempt resuscitation: he said yes. A team worked on Lama’s heart for two hours. Steven Corde reported to Lama Zopa that there was no response. Rinpoche asked, “Doctor, what is the longest time you have worked on someone after their heart has stopped?” “Three hours,” he said. Lennie asked if he had had success. “No,” he told her. Rinpoche said, “I think it is time to stop.”

From that point on no one was to touch Lama’s body. Geshe Gyeltsen, who has a center in Los Angeles, arrived at Cedars-Sinai. He and Rinpoche performed pujas at Lama’s bedside, and the students were told to do Heruka mantras. Meanwhile, a room on another floor was being prepared for Lama’s body.

At 11:00 a.m. two orderlies gently wheeled Lama’s body, covered in his saffron robes, through the hospital corridors in a silent procession. Rinpoche had permission to keep Lama’s body there till 10:00 p.m.

Rinpoche and the students set up the quiet corner room as a sanctuary, making an altar on a bedside table and placing blankets on the floor for people to sit comfortably. When things were settled, Rinpoche stood before Lama’s holy body and, with what one student called “exquisite devotion,” made three full-length prostrations before sitting.

People sat with Lama throughout the day, always reciting mantras. Just after 5:30 p.m. Rinpoche broke the utter silence in the room by suddenly shouting Heruka mantras. Chuck thought he noticed Lama’s head move slightly under the covering robes, but felt he must have been hallucinating. But Rinpoche bent down to him and said, “Now Lama’s meditation is finished.”

Earlier in the day Lennie had made arrangements with a local mortuary, Abbott and Hast – recommended by the hospital as a mortuary that “took pride in catering to special-interest, religious and ethnic groups” – to take Lama’s body from the hospital. Mr. Hast was located on a yacht in the Pacific performing a burial at sea.

He was very kind. He arranged from there the appropriate formalities for obtaining permission from the governor’s office to perform the cremation on the Vajrapani land: observations had found that either Vajrapani or Dharamsala would be most suitable.

Although it was a Saturday afternoon, there were no hitches: permission was granted and a fire permit issued by the Boulder Creek environmental office, for which someone graciously offered the two-dollar fee.

Lama’s body was moved that night to Mr. Hast’s mortuary. Rinpoche was given special permission to spend the night there. Students who had spent sleepless nights at the hospital were encouraged by Rinpoche to go home. Others came to sit through the night with him and Thubten Mönlam.

The room was large with comfortable sofas and pillows and chairs. Lama’s body was at one end of the room and was covered with his saffron robe, a bouquet of white carnations at his feet. The overhead light was dim and the soft flicker of candlelight gave a most serene and peaceful atmosphere. There were hot plates for boiling water, and tea and tsog offerings from the hospital pujas were plentiful. Rinpoche suggested that people make prostrations and recite the practice to the Thirty-five Buddhas.

During the night, Rinpoche left the room to make phone calls. One was to request Song Rinpoche again to come to California from Switzerland to oversee the cremation of Lama’s body. Later, when he heard that he would come, he smiled and said, “It will be good for the students.”

At 11:00 a.m. on Sunday, March 4, Lama Yeshe’s body was taken from the mortuary and driven north to Vajrapani by one of the residents, Tom Waggoner, accompanied by a caravan of cars.

The journey took 14 hours. At one in the morning of Monday they wound their way slowly up the dark bumpy road from the town of Boulder Creek into the huge redwoods of the retreat center. Residents and retreaters were lining the path to the gompa, and the sounds of conches, bells, damarus and chats, resonating into the night sky, greeted the cars as they approached.

The closed coffin, draped in white offering scarves, was placed by the altar at the front of the gompa, where it would remain until Monday afternoon, the eve of the cremation itself.

The news of Lama’s death had started to spread around the world on Saturday morning. Although it was well known that he had been gravely ill, the fact of his death was stunning, almost impossible to take in. An Australian nun said that the last time she saw Lama, in Italy five months before, he had seemed like an old man, needing help to walk and scarcely able to breathe. “If it had been any other person of the same age I would have known they were close to death; but somehow, because it was Lama, I just couldn’t, wouldn’t allow my mind to grasp it.”

By Monday morning California time – Monday night in Europe and Tuesday morning in Australia – the news had hit home. Scores of people, from Australia, New Zealand, India, Nepal, Malaysia, Hong Kong and many European countries had already arrived or were on their way to Vajrapani.

Already, Geshe Sopa had arrived from Wisconsin and Geshe Thinley, one of Lama Yeshe’s brothers, had come with five others from Australia, where he is resident teacher at Chenrezig Institute. And Kyabje Song Rinpoche was due from Switzerland that night, to officiate at the week-long ceremonies. Also there were Geshe Gyeltsen from Los Angeles, Geshe Lobsang Gyatso, the resident teacher at Vajrapani, and the reincarnation of his teacher from Sera Je, Tenzin Sherab, a young Canadian boy, and Jeffrey Hopkins and Elizabeth Napper from the University of Virginia.

American monk Thubten Pelgye and others had started to organize the kitchen, bringing in food enough to feed 100 people for a week. And 45 minutes away, not far from Santa Cruz and Lama Yeshe’s house at Aptos, Peter O’Donnell and the staff of Greenwood Lodge, a conference center and home of the Universal Education Association, had opened up their rooms and cabins to accommodate the visitors.

On Monday night Song Rinpoche was picked up from the San Francisco Airport and taken to Lama’s house, where he would stay until Saturday March 11. There with him were Lama Zopa, Geshe Thinley, Geshe Gyeltsen and Geshe Sopa. They were being looked after by Thubten Mönlam, the young Sherpa monk whom Lama had sent for from Kopan a month before, and Lama’s friend, Åge Delbanco.

By Tuesday afternoon, the gompa was packed. There was a Vajrayogini puja and self-initiation, and in the evening a Heruka Vajrasattva tsog offering written by Lama Yeshe in 1982, with prostrations to the Thirty-five Buddhas being performed alternately. As much as possible, Lama Zopa had said, these purification practices should be done – “not for Lama’s sake but for our own.”

People continued to arrive during the week. Although many had not met before, there was a powerful feeling among everyone of deep friendship; brothers and sisters sharing the grief of losing an incredibly loved parent.

Lama Zopa asked Geshe Sopa to talk to the people on Wednesday morning. “We have known each other a long time, as teacher and student, since he was a young boy.” He said. “During these past years Lama has done so much beneficial activity for so many people, especially in the West.”

Geshe Sopa emphasized harmony. “There are many students everywhere at all the centers that Lama Yeshe and Lama Zopa have established. It is so important to be very friendly toward each other, like children of the one spiritual father … We should ask, ‘How can I help?’“

Lama Yeshe is gone, but “Lama Zopa is still here. His activities everywhere are great, sowing seeds everywhere for the development of this wonderful spiritual teaching that is most beneficial to sentient beings.”

After the talk, an all-day Heruka puja and self-initiation started. And John Jackson and others, with the supervision of Song Rinpoche, began work on the stupa in which Lama’s body would be burned. The site chosen was a clearing on a ridge, which had a spectacular view of miles of forest and the smell of the unseen ocean beyond.

They worked all day and into the night, mixing concrete, laying bricks, chopping wood. There were no precise measurements to go by, but Song Rinpoche knew what he wanted and would say when things were not right.

Heruka puja broke for lunch. At that time Lama’s body was removed from the gompa and placed, the coffin open, in a side room, to be prepared for cremation. Puja continued until the evening, followed by Lama Chöpa, and throughout the night people performed Vajrasattva tsog and prostrations. In fact, since the arrival of Lama’s body until the ceremonies were over a week later, a vigil was kept in the gompa, and Vajrasattva mantras recited continuously.

Keeping vigil at Lama’s body next door was Bill Kane. “Beautiful odors were coming from his body,” he said. On Wednesday morning he assisted Lama Zopa and others prepare Lama’s body for cremation. It was to be burned in an upright position, so his knees were drawn up to his chest and tied tightly with khatas. His arms were crossed and a dorje and bell placed in his hands. He was dressed in his magenta robes and a yellow chögö. Upon his head was placed a triple-tier black bodhisattva’s hat adorned with a crystal rosary, and his face was covered by a red cloth. His body, in a chair, was driven in procession up to the ridge, which was already prepared for the fire puja.

Mountains of appropriate offerings for the fire were on a side altar, between the stupa and Song Rinpoche’s throne. The place was covered in flowers. Incense wafted on the breeze and the sky was bright blue. Two hundred people were assembled – monks, nuns, lay men and women, and children – and included five of Lama Yeshe’s doctors, members of the administration of the University of California-Santa Cruz where Lama had taught for a term in 1978, and many, many friends. One, a woman who “always dresses in red,” had met him five years before and was immediately attracted because of his “wonderful laugh.” That morning she had heard that “Lama Yeshe was in town” so came to Vajrapani with an offering of flowers – only to discover that she was coming to his cremation.

The van carrying Lama’s body stopped at the edge of the crowd. His body was carried to the stupa – only the square base of which, waist high, had been built so far – and carefully placed inside. Metal rods were put horizontally on all sides of the body to keep it upright. Firewood was stacked around him and oil poured over the wood to ensure that the fire would burn well.

The remainder of the stupa was built around Lama’s body. Bricks were laid in a circular fashion to form a cone-shape structure about eight feet [2.5 meters] tall. The entire stupa was covered with mud and, as it dried, with white wash. The square base had four openings, one on each side, and the upper part two, for receiving the offerings.

The person elected to start the fire had to be someone who had not received teachings from Lama. She prostrated three times in front of the stupa, bent low and, with a burning torch handed to her by one of the attendants, set fire to Lama Yeshe’s body.

The Yamantaka fire puja commenced. The mountain of offerings slowly diminished as the ingredients were handed to Song Rinpoche who in turn handed them to Chuck Thomas and others who offered them to the fire. The puja lasted three hours. Throughout, a deep stillness, a composure, a sense of the unexpressed grief, pervaded. And the only sound to be heard above the chanting was the blazing of the powerful fire.

By 1:00 p.m. the puja was over. Later, Song Rinpoche and Lama Zopa returned to the stupa to seal the openings; it would remain untouched until Sunday afternoon when Lama Zopa would dismantle it and remove the relics of Lama’s body.

“I’m just very numb,” Lama Zopa said later that afternoon, when he talked briefly in the gompa. “I can’t think of anything.” Rinpoche sat for a full five minutes before continuing. “These high lamas, His Holiness and all these high lamas, including Lama Yeshe, they do not fit us, they do not fit. Because of our small merit, they just do not fit. They are like a huge burden that we cannot carry.” Earlier, he had said that Lama had died “because we do not have the merit. But we should not think too much about this because we would go mad. Instead, we should protect our mind and try to practice Dharma.”

It seemed that people hung on to his every word. Lama had always been the pillar of strength; now, with him gone, people looked with a sense of relief almost to Lama Zopa. He thanked everyone for their kindness during the past few months. “If we follow Lama’s wishes, every piece of advice, if we put it all into practice then I think it will become a quick cause for Lama to reincarnate soon. Maybe he will even come to America! I think that’s all,” he said. “I will pray.”

By Friday, many people had left. In the afternoon Song Rinpoche gave a Heruka Vajrasattva initiation and talked briefly. He, like the other lamas, stressed harmony. “We are all very good relatives,” he said. “Loving each other is the most important thing.”

Kyabje Song Rinpoche bade farewell – for what would be the last time – at the airport on Saturday, when he returned to Switzerland. That night Lama Zopa invited people to Lama’s house for a Lama Chöpa puja. The room was packed. The ocean pounded just outside the windows. It was good to be there in that house that Lama had loved. The puja, sung in English, was intense and heartfelt. It was seven days since Lama’s death.

On Sunday afternoon, Lama Zopa went back up to the ridge to open the stupa and remove the relics. He requested that everyone stay in the gompa and recite Vajrasattva mantras and do prostrations. Tenzin Sherab, the young Canadian rinpoche, was there with Lama Zopa. “First we did prayers, then more prayers,” he said later. “We started opening the stupa at exactly 2:50 p.m. and at 4:24 p.m. we finished taking everything out.

First, the stupa had to be carefully dismantled, brick by brick. Each bone was taken from the stupa floor and handed to Lama Zopa, who would examine it and put it aside in the red trunk bought especially for the relics. The ashes were put separately.

Later, Rinpoche said that the fire had been almost too good; it had burned so fiercely that most of the body had burned completely. What remained, apart from the bones, were part of Lama’s heart and kidneys. “I saw every bone in his body,” Tenzin Sherab said. Later, during the drive down to Santa Cruz, he said that during puja after taking out the relics he looked up into the sky and saw, besides other things, “a cloud forming into an arrow and pointing toward the south, and four Tibetan letters, za, za, sa and ra.” Song Rinpoche suggested that’s these might indicate the name of the mother of Lama Yeshe’s future reincarnation.

The relics were carried in procession down to the gompa where again purification practices were done. Rinpoche thanked everyone at the conclusion of the puja. “I am completely satisfied. Everything has gone so perfectly, nothing inauspicious has happened.” He said that even if the pujas had been done in the monasteries in south India, it all could not have gone better. He gave to each person a capsule of ashes – “vitamins for the mind,” he called them.

By Monday afternoon, Vajrapani land had returned to its normal serene routine. The week that had seen one of the most extraordinary events of the center’s seven years of existence had come and gone like a dream. Lama Zopa had returned to India that morning, via Switzerland where he would see Geshe Rabten and Song Rinpoche, and the people had returned to their homes and centers and monasteries around the world.

Lama’s relics, once consecrated by Song Rinpoche in Switzerland, were divided up and sent to each of the centers, where they were received with great respect and ritual – “as if you were receiving Lama himself,” Rinpoche had advised. Most of the relics, however, went to Kopan where eventually they will be sealed inside a larger-than-life-size statue of Lama; the face, an exact likeness, is being made by American sculptor Courtland Bennett, and the body, with the hands in Vajrasattva mudra, by local Nepali artists.

A thousand small statues of Lama Yeshe, commissioned by Max Mathews, are being made in India, and the bulk of the ashes from the cremation will be mixed with clay and made into small Vajrasattva statuettes (tsa-tsa).

In accordance with Lama Yeshe’s own wishes – that a year’s Heruka Vajrasattva retreat be done “wherever my body is” – a retreat started at Kopan in April. A year-long retreat also commenced mid-year in Spain, at the O.Sel.Ling Retreat Center.

It is possible for people to come to these retreats for any period of time. Most other centers have held or plan to hold shorter retreats at times to suit their students.

While preparing Lama’s body for cremation, Bill Kane asked Rinpoche if Lama had ever indicated to him where he planned to take rebirth, Rinpoche thought for a while before replying that no, Lama had never said anything about it, but Rinpoche’s own opinion was that Lama “had karma with California.”

Seven months later Rinpoche said in a letter to one of his students that in a dream he had seen that “Lama had already decided on his rebirth.”

And in December he said, “Lama will reincarnate soon. We have done many pujas and have been checking and will continue to check through lamas and deities. So sooner or later we can have big parties for Lama’s reincarnation.”

Tags: lama yeshe