By Lama Yeshe, translation by Dhatva Dhondup

Extracts from the last letter written by Lama Thubten Yeshe to Geshe Jampa Wangdu

Due to my right and left channels being filled with the violent movement of thought-winds and over­flowing out of control beyond the capacity of my ordinary heart, in order to safeguard myself from this, I was forced to place this difficult to find body of leisures and endowments in the hands of a strange doctor. Upon exam­ining me for half an hour, he advised that I must definitely go into the intensive care unit of the hospital. Believing that this was the case, I asked him to protect my life. Never have I known the experiences and sufferings which then followed.

First, unending injections throughout the day and night. Second, because the capacity of my heart to pump oxygen was impaired, in order to breathe, I used an oxygen tank from which a rubber tube ran to my nose. This was never disconnected and caused me great discomfort. Third, I had to constantly take medicine day and night, sometimes more than ten pills at a time. Due to this medicine my mind was powerlessly overcome with pain every two hours and my memory degenerated. Food lost its taste. I was given only saltless, Indian style food. I had no appetite for more than a month, and whatever food I did eat I threw up and suffered. Some days I could not do my commitments ….

These experiences I am relating to you my pure-pledged, spiritual brother — keep them secret from hard-headed intellectuals.

My ability to recite prayers of ordinary words degener­ated and, after considering what to do, I did stabilising meditation with strong mindfulness and introspection. By the power of this there arose clarity of mind. Within this state I continued stabilising meditation with great effort, and this was of much benefit, though the enemy of lethargy often overcame my meditation. I was reminded of the time my spiritual brother and I received the oral transmission listening to the precepts of the skillful En Sa Pa tradition, at Tse Chog Ling Monastery, from our root guru possessing the three kindnesses.

During this period I received hundreds of letters but was not allowed to read them.

My holy spiritual brother, through reading your series of advices I developed immeasurable joy and happiness in my mind. The strength of my mind increased and my prob­lems lessened and ceased. I will write here in verse the essence of the series of advices of my heart-jewel, spiritual brother.

Practise and meditate mind training:

The sole enemy of unwanted sufferings,

The main object of cultivation of really awe-inspiring retreaters,

The path travelled by the great meditators of the three times.

You need a happy mind, conscientious mind, an open mind.

Especially you must cultivate the precept of transforming bad circumstances – the experience of unwanted sufferings – into the path.

Take into your heart the sufferings of mother sentient beings

And again and again give away your good fortune and happiness to them.

Transform the ripening results within the beings, the environment and all unfavorable circumstances into a pathway leading to enlightenment.

Live contemplating just this – mind training.

My mind has found peace through these and the other advices of my heart-jewel, spiritual brother.  I request you, Ven. Jampa Wangdu, to be my Dharma friend all my life.