This interview is just one of the many that took place for “A New Generation of Young Buddhist Practitioners,” the cover feature of Mandala July-August 1998:

How did you get introduced to Dharma in the first place?

My aunt, Merry Colony, is Buddhist. She is the sister of my mother and the youngest of six females. As an only child, I remember I found Merry to be very sensitive and open to my young thoughts. This quality was especially important during the chaotic holidays our family shared. I recall escaping the noise of such occasions only to find Merry in another room saying prayers and doing her practice. I found refuge and joy in watching her create beautiful mandalas and chant. It was magical in the calming effect that such moments had on me. This period in my life was also quite troubling because of my parents’ divorce. I guess it was from moments like that, and others I shared with Merry, that initially led me to pursue an interest in Tibetan Buddhism. However, ultimately it stemmed from my more personal life decisions.

My first year in college was quite rough. I had come from a very sheltered and forgiving environment. My sense of ego was very strong and I had little appreciation for my precious human life. I truly had no idea why I was in college.

I was fortunate to have received a solid primary school education that helped me get into a good college (Lafayette College in Pennsylvania). However, when I got to there I was not prepared for the social freedom. I was drinking virtually every night and getting into all kinds of trouble with the campus security. I guess my destructive behavior did not become apparent to me until I found myself in a hospital with head wounds from a bar brawl that I started at a fraternity. This realization was further cemented by the letter of dismissal that I received from the dean’s office the following December. It was their decision that I was not prepared for the responsibility required of a Lafayette student. And they were right!

After returning home from college I found that my whole world had collapsed. Issues that I had ignored could no longer be avoided. Specifically issues with respect to the way I had treated other members of my family and in my personal relationships. This period was all about picking up the pieces of my life. I could either continue down the road of self-defeating destruction or try and resolve the past.

I began to study at the local community college. I took a James Joyce class and an introduction to Buddhism. I also began therapy with a psychiatrist. It was during this period that I picked up my mother’s copy of Reincarnation by Vicki Mackenzie (a gift from Merry). This book really gave me a taste of Lama Yeshe and his way. A few months later I reapplied and was accepted at Lafayette and returned the following semester with a new and improved agenda. I was really quite fortunate to have the support of some very good teachers and family.

I had a curriculum based on classes I thought were moving me along intellectually and spiritually. Specifically I focused on art, religion and anthropology. I felt as if I had reawakened to a whole new world. And it was vast! My biggest fear at this time was that I had wasted too much of my time in school.

How was Buddhism attractive to you?

Actually I was sort of anti-religious during my college years. I felt that organized religions were too corrupt and offered little in the way of real spirituality. I kind of found my own system of belief through my anthropology. I studied many cultures in Latin America and found that there was a history and culture that had very similar values and ethics to my own – some of the more contemporary indigenous rights movements that advocate a more communal way of living.

I don’t think the true essence of Buddhism became accessible to me until after I had begun to experiment with hallucinogenic drugs. I found that, through certain hallucinatory experiences, I was better able to understand my mind and specifically the way I had been perceiving reality. The change was that I had become more open to different views and philosophies on an experiential level. I am not advocating casual drug use, but for myself I think that there were certain experiences that I had, under the influence of drugs, that helped me to be more open to Buddhist thought and practice. And it was through these experiences that I found myself able to move on to more real, drug-free experiences.

When I eventually traveled to Asia after college I was conscious that I was embarking on a trip that would be a turning point in my understanding of Buddhism. It took me only a short week at Kopan to feel how right the teachings of Buddha were for me. I found that so much I had been feeling in a very abstract way was articulated through the books and teachings I encountered there. However, it was from the group Vajrasattva retreat I eventually did in Dharamsala that I truly began to confront some of the more painful aspects that are involved in spiritual growth.

I guess the most attractive aspect of Buddhism to me is that it has a natural application to life. It is logical and authentic. I feel that I have been very fortunate to have found Buddhism within the FPMT. There are truly so many genuine and sincere teachers and students.

How do you see Dharma fitting in your life in the future?

After Vajrasattva retreat, I also did a one-month prostration retreat at Lawudo Gompa in the mountains of Nepal and then the Kopan November course. They really helped cement the Dharma in my mind. The challenge now is to apply Dharma to my Western lifestyle.

I love North America! We have so much freedom here. There is also much suffering though. But as a country we have the means to help others conventionally. We have the resources and the money to remove so much physical suffering in the world. We have the potential to really help others in this life. It excites me to think that the Dharma can fit into this somehow. I think the reason we don’t do more as a country to help is because we are so neurotic. Dharma helps destroy this type of delusion. I am excited to see how the Dharma will evolve in the West.

So now I am exploring many things. I have looked into the various Buddhist programs in universities. I have looked at His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s Namgyal Monastery in New York. But basically I just want to keep pursuing the learning process. I guess the big obstacle, besides money, is finding my path.

Because I am young and haven’t really had my first professional job, my first goal has been to try and get one. Lama Zopa had suggested that I try to work at either Land of Medicine Buddha or Vajrapani. I feel that I am very fortunate to have the opportunity to receive this advice, and now I am working fulltime at the FPMT International Office. With the guidance of Sangha like Paul LeMay and Thubten Kunsel, I believe I am making good use of this life. It really makes me very happy to be in the service of others. I came here not knowing what would happen, but the advice of the holy kind guru is right. So I guess I will see what happens next.

If you were talking with some people who had never met Dharma, what do you think is the most important first thing to teach them about Dharma?

I think developing a good heart and an appreciation for this life is very important when you are young. I think a lot of the problems teenagers have stem from their sense that they are alone – the only ones suffering, the only one with problems. I think understanding the vastness of the human realm and all the levels of life and its various suffering is immensely mind expanding. By encountering and experiencing different cultures and different forms of life, one is more able to understand them. This is the key to developing real compassion. It is how we are able to sincerely love. It is how we are able to learn to love even those we want to hate.

I don’t think it is important to label any of this Buddhism. A child is often vastly less conceptual than an adult. I think that there is a relationship with them that can be mutually beneficial. We shouldn’t consider them to be less than ourselves. They are just different and have different needs. Buddhist practice for children should be a personal and individual decision. One must ultimately seek it out alone.