This interview is just one of the many that took place for “A New Generation of Buddhist Young Practitioners,” the cover feature of Mandala July-August 1998:

When did you meet the Dharma?

Mum used to be a nun in the Theravadin tradition in the ‘70s, and by the time I was born she had got to know Lama Yeshe and Lama Zopa, so I was basically brought up that way. When I was a baby Mum used to take me to teachings, initiations and pujas – I would sleep through most of them.

When I got older I would sit up and listen to them, and when I got older still I decided to participate. In 1995 I attended the November lam-rim course at Kopan in Nepal. Lama Zopa Rinpoche and Ven. Thubten Gyatso (Adrian Feldman) taught that. In 1996 or 1997 I used to go to meditation classes at the Tibetan Buddhist Society in Perth.

How old were you at the Kopan course?

I had just turned 13. I had done a lot of lam-rim before, so it wasn’t new. I was familiar with most of it, but Lama Zopa always says you can never hear too much lam-rim. I was really glad that I had heard it before.

Did your mother bring you up in such a way that you had a choice concerning your religion?

My grandmother was always pretty big on me becoming a Christian, and whenever I would go stay with her she would try to convert me. My mum had me baptized so that if I wanted to become Christian I could.

When I was little she never forced me into it. I used to go because I couldn’t be left home by myself, but she never forced me to participate. For a while, when I started getting busy with school – I row a lot and play ice hockey – I would be busy and she would try and make me go to pujas, and that sometimes made me feel like I didn’t want to be Buddhist. But I was brought up Buddhist and believe in the philosophies, so I couldn’t really change even if I wanted to because I genuinely believe what she has taught me.

What about Buddhism makes a lot of sense to you?

Karma. Definitely karma. I like the idea that everything I do has some sort of repercussion later on. I believe it like I believe one and one makes two – it’s that basic. I just somehow know karma exists.

In a lot of other religions there is no reincarnation and somebody else decides. For example, Christianity, I was never big on it because I like to be very independent, and in Christianity there is a God controlling whether you go to heaven or hell, and God makes judgments on you. Whereas in Buddhism, you do what you do and you’re the only one who has control over what happens to you.

Does fear of lower realms motivate you to avoid negative actions?

Well, I’ve never intentionally killed anything in my life, because I felt if I did it creates the imprints to be born in a lower realm. I believe they exist, and I don’t want to end up there. I used to get laughed at because I would go out of my way at the playground to avoid stepping on ants and I would get angry if people did. I wouldn’t let anyone use fly spray in my presence.

Were you considered different because of your religion?

It was never really a big deal. I used to talk about it quite a lot because Mum was heavily involved in the Tibetan cause. Up until grade four I didn’t talk about it because I didn’t understand much. When Mum got really involved in the Tibetan cause, especially when she arranged the Dalai Lama’s visit here in Perth in 1992, I used to preach about the Tibetan cause to everyone. Most of them had never heard of Tibet.

I wasn’t really treated differently, and I’m still not. Most people just accept that’s who I am. I don’t preach about it at all now. I just won’t let anyone kill anything in my presence.

I tend to prefer the philosophical side of Buddhism – I don’t think of it as a religion. I like to think that karma and reincarnation exist – things that have an effect on my life and future lives. These are things that are best for me and other people with respect to what will happen if I don’t. I tend to think of religion more as a ceremonial thing, and I don’t really go in for the ceremonies of Buddhism, unless it’s a special day or event and there are pujas. I don’t go very often. On a practical level, I find it a philosophy for a way to live my life day to day.

In some ways it’s difficult to be a Buddhist, because I have reached a stage where I feel like I want to do the opposite of everything I am told to do. I resent being told what to do, and Buddhism makes it harder because when I rebel against what my mum says, I almost want to deny the whole thing exists. But I believe it does, so it makes it difficult.

Also, I feel really bad about being so mean to my mum, because I feel it will have negative repercussions and will create bad imprints. I think most teenagers go through a stage where everything they’re told to do, they want to do the opposite. It makes it difficult because everyone is telling you what to do. I also feel people don’t trust teenagers enough, and feel they are delinquents.

What kinds of social pressures do young people feel?

I think there are some young people who give the rest of the youths a bad name, and so everyone might think if you’re a teenager you’re all out into rebelling and taking drugs. I think the main reason kids take drugs at all is because they know they shouldn’t and they’re not allowed to.

I feel, and I know a lot of my friends feel, that we grow up and get to a stage where we can take responsibility and look after ourselves. But most of the time we’re not given enough responsibility by parents, and they don’t trust us to make decisions in a lot of things. We get fed up with parents trying to control our lives, so we start doing things they say we shouldn’t because we want to show them we’re in control of our own lives and we don’t do what anyone else tells you to do. This can be quite bad if what they’re telling you to do is right.

What advantage do you have by having Dharma at this age?

In some respect I think it places limitations on the extent to which I would rebel, which will be a lot better in later life. I have a few friends who have gone to the extremes of rebelling and have gotten heavily into drugs, and Dharma has stopped me from doing that. I often felt like I want to do anything I’m not allowed to, including taking drugs, but because I’ve got Dharma I know I shouldn’t, and I know it will have negative imprints in future lives and can also stuff up this life.

Dharma gives me more of a sense of responsibility for myself because I believe in karma, that I control everything that happens to me forever, for eternity – no one else does. For people who don’t know about karma and reincarnation, I think a lot of living they do is for this life. That can make them stuff up a lot of things. I think if you don’t have some sort of spirituality in your life you end up going to extremes.

Does it help you control your anger and other emotions?

I don’t know … I am normally a violent person with a violent temper. I get angry a lot. I feel guilty that I’m getting that angry and I know it’s creating such strong negative imprints in my mind. In some ways it’s worse because it gives me a sense of responsibility and so I get a conscience about it.

If I didn’t have Buddhism I wouldn’t care that I get angry all the time, and I’d just think, “Yeah, whatever, it’s just part of life.” But I always have this little nagging thing in the back of my mind that says, “You shouldn’t be doing this, don’t do this, this isn’t good.” In the long run, Buddhism helps a lot because it makes it harder to do the things I shouldn’t be doing because I know I shouldn’t be doing them. It works out much better in the long run; it just makes things temporarily more difficult.

I’ve often thought about if I would just renounce the Dharma and refuse to believe in it, but I couldn’t do that. It’s what I believe. I’ve thought about other religions and we learn about them in school. Now I have a theory that all religions, in some way or form, are all the same; they’re just in different ways for different people.

If you could introduce one aspect of the Dharma to people who had never heard of it, what would it be?

Karma. I’ve often had people ask what Buddhists believe in, and I always find that a really hard question to answer, and I normally stick to karma and reincarnation. If I could implant one idea into everyone’s mind it would be karma because I think it would make people think twice about how they act, because I know it makes me think twice about what I do. Karma has made me never kill anything intentionally. The last time I accidentally killed something, it was a mosquito, and I was completely devastated by it. I’ve always gone out of my way not to kill anything, and I think it’s so positive not to kill anything even if karma and reincarnation didn’t exist.

Are there any teachers that have made a strong impression on you?

The person who has had the most effect on me has to be Thubten Gyatso. He’s a friend of Mum’s from the ‘70s and he became a monk quite a long time ago. He used to be resident teacher of Hayagriva Buddhist Center in Perth, which at the time was located above Mum’s work. He also taught at the November course at Kopan when I went. He has always been able to put things the way I understand, partly because he speaks in English. He has helped eternally, and has been wonderful.

His Holiness has been wonderful. I was able to meet him when he came to Perth in 1992, as Mum organized the tour. We got to stay in the same hotel as him.

What was that like?

It was the most amazing week of my entire life! That was wonderful. I would do almost anything to have that week back again. The only thing I regret is that I wasn’t old enough at the time to take full advantage of the situation. When I occasionally see him on TV, I feel he is the most amazing person – he has such a strange effect on me. He’s just perfect! If I see him or hear him talking, it always sounds like he’s laughing, even if his whole world might be falling down around him. I just feel that everything is not that bad, and if he can laugh about it so can I.

Another person has been Lama Zopa. I haven’t met him an awful lot, as he was sick when I was at Kopan. He also has this thing where we’re meant to have teachings start at about 7, and he won’t turn up until maybe 11 and then will teach until 3 in the morning. I remember thinking, “My knees are sore, I’m tired, I want to go to bed, why am I waiting around for someone who will probably never show up?” But I relate to things like that! I felt like, what’s a bit of sleep – it’s just a short-term thing and I might as well stay around and see what is said. It could change my life, and sleep has never done that.

Also Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche – I relate to him. In some ways he is scandalous – or he pretends to be scandalous because he knows it makes people laugh. He’s not traditional. I relate to him though. The traditional lams are great, like His Holiness and Lama Zopa, and they make my life so much better, and still, every now and then it feels almost unrealistic because they just seem so perfect. I can’t relate to them sometimes because I just feel like nothing I do is right when I see people devoting their entire lives to the Dharma. I could never become a nun. So Dzongsar Rinpoche seems less like a superhuman than His Holiness, but he does things so skillfully that I think he’s a buddha anyway. So they are the four most influential people in my life. On a day-to-day level, Adrian has had the most effect on my life. His Holiness and Lama Zopa give me an idea of what I’m aiming for in the really long run, and Adrian and Dzongsar Rinpoche help me in the day-to-day to reach that point.