This interview is just one of the many that took place for “A New Generation of Buddhist Young Practitioners,” the cover feature of Mandala July-August 1998:

How did your family get into Buddhism, and when did you get interested in it?

My kind olds went to a Kopan course in 1972, and when they came back to New Zealand they started Dorje Chang Institute. I was born in 1974 into a Dharma family, and a very excellent one!

To be Buddhist was never really a choice – we were just naturally all Buddhists, so I had no problem. Although when I was a teenager I didn’t let many people know, as I was a bit embarrassed, I was right into it myself.

I remember Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s teachings on emptiness, even between the ages of 5 and 10. I first met the lamas and, according to Lama Yeshe’s guidance, took Vajrasattva initiation in my mother’s womb (he he!). My first proper initiation (Heruka) was on my eleventh birthday from Rinpoche. It was a real blast choice, that time/experience (although I probably didn’t get much of the initiation – can’t remember).

Anyhow, at 14 I was sent to a private school (my kind grandmother died and I got rich), so I separated from friends a bit, which resulted in less chances to get totally involved in negativities. Still, I hung out with old friends and we started smoking pot and drinking, etc., and having a great time. All of us had quite interesting ideas and we had some real choice learning experiences, which I didn’t regret at that time, but I’m sure my mind got “blunted” somewhat.

At 17 I got totally sick of school, but what to do? My kind mother (dakini) said to me, “How about a Kopan course?” Great choice, so off I went to Nepal. Really excellent course, big change, but it wrecked my poor stomach. I came back and worked with my dad building. Now I really began to get sick of getting “blunted” pointlessly, and everything had changed with my friends and me, so I did a two-month Vajrasattva retreat, alone.

It was the most difficult experience of my life to date – I can’t believe I did it at all.  All these emotions just came from nowhere! Then I went back to work, and now things had really changed. I still had a few good times, but much of the time was just being wasted and making myself tired. I also crashed the car, among other things, so I decided to do another retreat: six weeks of prostrations. Magnificent. I stayed in the same retreat hut at Karma Chokhorling, a Kagyu center (my dad is Kagyu). It was a bit easier, but I still had the same feelings, so then what? I didn’t ‘t want to go back to work, so this time I went back to Kopan, this time with the lovely dakini chick Layla – she is Dharma-oriented, too.

After Kopan I didn’t want to go home – nothing was there, so I went off to Dharamsala for a bit of retreat. I was worried, though, because there was no teacher, and in a confused state I went back to Kopan and took ordination. I think my first motivation (and probably not the best) was so I couldn’t go home! I mean home as in back to normal life – my home was actually a refuge and my parents were always so good and helpful. Even though I surely abused them, they were firm but totally mellow at the same time. I think it comes from their true love and compassion.

For example, when I was young, like 7 or 8, I didn’t really want to go to teachings if I had a choice, as Rinpoche would teach for hours and it seemed my legs just got sore. But my kind mother would persist and now I am so grateful – it is so important to first hear Dharma.

I always wanted to be a yogi, like Je Milarepa, so I went to Chenrezig Institute for three years under the exceptional master of great kindness and compassion Geshe Tashi Tsering.

What problems did you face when you were young?

It was hard trying to keep my commitments (I took highest yoga tantra initiation first time at Kopan). Regarding the street life, it was only on weekends and not so bad, so I never really got lost in it.

The negative actions I was drawn to were missing my commitments, abusing my body, hurting my girlfriend’s mind out of selfish ignorance and not communicating (while in India), and not listening to Lama’s advice.

What advice from any lamas has been memorable?

Lama Zopa gave me advice, mainly to do with what to do, that is, go here, do this many prostrations a day, etc. Of course, he taught me everything else in teachings I attended when I was young. And yet I think the best advice came recently when the omniscient Khensur Rinpoche visited me here in retreat and told me politely but firmly to meditate on bodhichitta, love and compassion. I was doing it before, but not really (still not really!). That was quite personal, direct, and meaningful for my practice.

What do you think is the biggest obstacle for young people in practicing Dharma?

For me I think peer pressure, no Dharma friends – they have good minds but still go the worldly way. I was very happy to come to Chenrezig (Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s advice – that’s a good one!) and meet young people I could talk with about things like renunciation, bodhichitta, emptiness, everything openly. I enjoyed talking about these things the most!

Another obstacle is to not taking teachings, so you never know, and then life is confusing even if you’ve got good ideas – it can’t fit together so easily.