MONKS AND NUNS OF THE FPMT

Among the first wave of FPMT monks and nuns, Ven. Marcel Bertels was ordained in 1974, has been a member of the FPMT board since it was formed by Lama Yeshe in 1982 and is in charge of Maitreya Project’s affairs in India. He also runs a silk-printing and handicraft business in Kathmandu, Nepal, started in 1974 at Lama Yeshe’s request to support the burgeoning Western Sangha and known then as Samsara. He lives in Kathmandu.

Ven. Marcel spoke to Mandala at the recent three-month Vajrasattva retreat at Land of Medicine Buddha, which he led.

I was born in 1949 in a town just outside Amsterdam, Holland into a loving Roman Catholic family. My father was the principal of an elementary school and conductor of the church choir, so when I was small, much of our family life revolved around my father’s school and the various masses at church. I also sang in the choir, although I don’t think I was a great asset there. Jesuit fathers ran the secondary school I went to in Amsterdam.

A strange thing happened in Holland in the second half of the ‘60s, as the entire Catholic community went through a huge crisis of faith. Many of the Jesuit fathers in my school disrobed during those years and the entire school collapsed some years after my graduation, as there were no Jesuits left. The whole atmosphere of the late ‘60s was very anti-establishment and many people lost their faith in the church as well as their individual faith. It was a sad thing to see so many people lose their refuge, including my father.

After high school, I spent a year as an exchange student in the USA, and then studied economics at the University of Amsterdam. During these years I developed a stronger and stronger feeling that something didn’t make sense. When I thought about life and the prospects of a career, marriage and children, this was not something that appealed to me. In fact, I had a distinct sense of discomfort having to live a life like this, but there didn’t seem to be any choice. I was planning to focus on the economics of underdeveloped countries, as this seemed to be some meaningful way to travel, search and learn. I worked for some years, mostly as a barkeeper, to save money for my journey.

By my twenty-second birthday I had saved the princely sum of $900 and I set out on my journey around the world, which was supposed to last four years. After nine months of travel I reached Nepal and ended up at the third Kopan course. That was in 1972. I was totally mesmerized by Lama Zopa Rinpoche, the unlikeliest 26-year-old I had ever met, who was clearly so different from any human being I had come across. Within a matter of days I was totally hooked; the Dharma felt so natural to me. I remember the great sense of relief that there was an option other than career, marriage and children, and I just loved to meditate on the lam-rim for as many hours as I could.

I spent about six months meditating on the lam-rim and then made an ill-advised effort to do samatha (single-pointed) meditation. I think I spent about a year trying. Although I learned a lot, I did not make any progress in the actual meditation. In the end I had to give up due to frustrating physical and mental obstacles.

In 1974 I took novice ordination from His Holiness Ling Rinpoche in Bodhgaya in quite a large group, which included Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s mother, Dr. Nick, Yeshe Khadro, Thubten Pemo, Gareth Sparham and quite a few other Westerners. The ordination of this group of Westerners led Lama Yeshe to establish the IMI. We lived and practiced together at Kopan, living incredibly simply.

Most of us were impoverished and had no savings and no source of income. After watching this for some years, Lama Yeshe expressed his concern about the critical financial situation of the Sangha and asked if I was willing to start a business to support the Sangha. It never occurred to me to refuse. Although I started the business, popularly called “Samsara” it was initially managed by another monk, Roger Wheeler, but in about 1976 I took over the management full time.

I realize that I should have made a lot of money for the Sangha over all these years. I certainly tried very hard. But the truth of the matter is that I am not a good businessman at all. Principally, of course, my lack of merit is to be blamed. I remember asking lama Yeshe in the early ‘80s if it was really worthwhile to be running a business. Lama Yeshe answered, “Business is your path to liberation, dear,” so I guess there was no way to escape. Some years ago, I again raised the question with Rinpoche how long I should continue to manage the business and Rinpoche suggested putting the question to Lama Ösel. I explained the evolution of my involvement in the business to Lama Ösel and asked him how long I should continue to do this work. Lama Ösel’s answer: “Until you die.” I guess there is no need now to ask this same question again for sometime.

At the end of 1995, Rinpoche asked me to become the director of the Maitreya Project, until then capably managed by Owen Cole and Merry Colony. Together with Professor L. P. Singh and Gabriel Forrer, I negotiated a beautiful plot of land in Bodhgaya for the project, and the project is moving forward very nicely. Two years ago I felt I could no longer do justice to being the overall director of Maitreya Project, and I asked for a lesser role. Rinpoche appointed Peter Kedge to be the overall director and I have been focusing on the affairs of the project in India.

We have been very fortunate to host teachings of His Holiness the Dalai Lama in Bodhgaya for the last two years, and His Holiness has also accepted to come again this year. Organizing His Holiness’ teachings is both incredibly gratifying as well as a major challenge, and it consumes me for about four months every year. My greatest support in organizing these teachings is the very kind Gelek Gyatso Rinpoche of Kopan Monastery who is quietly and efficiently doing the most difficult part of the work behind the scenes.

In working for the Maitreya Project, I found my background in business invaluable, and this gives me some solace for not having been able to make a lot of money for the Sangha. In a sense it seems like part of my life since meeting the Dharma has been some kind of preparation for being able to help Maitreya Project in a small way.

I am extremely grateful and much indebted to both Lama Yeshe and Lama Zopa Rinpoche for their immense kindness in guiding me all these years and for providing me with all these opportunities to serve them and create lots of merit. I am also very grateful to my kind parents for their constant love and support.