By Adele Hulse

Bev Greet attended the November 1979 Kopan course and three days after she returned to Australia conceived a child. Her son was just three years old when Bev was diagnosed HIV-positive, having contracted the virus from an earlier relationship. “That was in November 1984,” Bev told me as we sat over cups of tea in her Melbourne home.

“It was an incredible shock. I had heard about this ‘gay disease’ that was happening in San Francisco and New York and had no idea that it could infect women, let alone little old me in Melbourne. The doctors told me then that I had three years to live.

“I’m a very stubborn person and refused to accept I could be dead in three years, although I had studied some Dharma and even done a course on death and dying, but that really brought it home. So I thought: Well, I’m going to die, so what’s new about that? But also what am I going to do with this diagnosis?

“Soon after that, I heard Rinpoche was teaching in New Zealand and went to see him. He gave me a practice to do and told me this was a wonderful gift. I certainly hadn’t seen it that way but it removed a lot of my initial anger, blaming others and myself and thinking it was some punishment I deserved. So I started to see it as an opportunity, albeit for only three years.

“However I also felt extremely isolated by the diagnosis and wanted to share my fears and worries. There was no AIDS information for women; all services were for gay men so I went on a quest. I did join an HIV/AIDS support group, the only female among gay men who thought at first I was someone’s sister or something. Over that year I made friendships and shared a lot but still wanted to meet women in my situation. I left my telephone number with associated doctors asking them to give it to women, and after three and a half years the first woman rang me. We met and talked for hours and hours about issues like future relationships – How do you tell someone? Would they bash or abuse us? We were told at that time there was 100% chance of future children being positive, which is now known to be untrue. With medication that risk has been reduced to 2%.

By 1988 we knew there were 15 HIV-positive women in our state, Victoria, and sent out more letters via doctors. One other woman joined us but broke contact when her boss sacked her after he overheard her talking about it. There was incredible fear and ignorance about it all. But we persevered and after five years got some funding. We offered to meet any positive women anywhere, anytime, just to talk.

“The women we slowly gathered were often really young, newly diagnosed, suicidal and felt their lives were over. They took some comfort from the fact that I was still alive, still healthy.

“Time went on and I saw how much worse so many of these women’s lives were compared with mine – by 10 years I had changed my career and married a man who was also HIV-positive, having been diagnosed six months before me. I could see I was really well off. My situation does offer comfort to women though. ‘You can have a life,’ I tell them. ‘You can even have a mortgage!’

“I saw Rinpoche every time he came to Melbourne and he’d laugh and laugh – it was like a cosmic joke that I was still around. I asked him how it was that those who took either heavy drugs or complementary therapies died and what was it that made some live longer than others. Rinpoche said he thought it must be based on attitude.

“In 1989 I became involved in an international network of people living with AIDS and in 1992, 50 positive women gathered in Amsterdam before a major conference there and together we set up the first international Positive Women’s network with 15 Key Contact people around the world. I am one of the three Key Contacts in the Asia/Pacific region. Also, I work with Aborigines in Victoria in the HIV/AIDS area (I have Aboriginal blood).

“There is still a lot of prejudice – HIV sufferers are forbidden entry into the United States as tourists, for example. I used to pray to see my son through primary school, then secondary school and now I’m getting cocky and would like to be a grandmother – but he’s only 18 and just starting university so I think I shouldn’t push that!

“Sometimes I tell other women with HIV/AIDS what Lama Zopa said to me, but it’s hard to swallow when you’re newly diagnosed. It is an opportunity to make the most of your life even if it is short, I say. They often ask what my secret is, how I have survived for so long. But I don’t know what it is; if I did I’d certainly share that.”

This year Beverly Greet was awarded the Order of Australia Medal for services to women suffering HIV/AIDS. Positive women are invited to contact her at Positive Women, PO Box 1546, Collingwood, Victoria 3066, Australia. Tel: (61) (3) 9276 6918; Fax: (61) (3) 9726 6092; email: poswomen@c031.aone.net.au.